When my father passed away, I was eight years old. There was only so much I was able to consume into my mind at the age of understanding what my future would be like. At the same time my mind and self matured instantly on the day of his passing. The amount of tears that shed from my eyes still surprises me because it was just a handful.
I have very faded and few memories of my father. Sometimes I wish someone would have told me to not take time as an advantage but to consume every moment in life and cherish it forever. But at the same time, there is not much I should regret because there are a lot of great memories I hold of my father and I.
I plan to share 9 stories in the first 9 days of June. Some are full of memories and some are how things have reflected on my current life because of the ‘hardship’ and ‘lessons’ time has played in my life. On June 9 this year, it will be 10 years since my dad has been gone from my life physically. Also on that day this year, I have my first official public event promoting a local Salon, Sweet T Salon, where the owner of the salon is supporting Breast Cancer through the American Cancer Society. Through the ACS, I am hoping by the end of June I can create a fund or organization in dedication to my father and specifically for Brain Cancer.
The best moments were giving him hugs in his huge arms and sticking to him like Velcro whenever he was not at work. The best days were Saturday mornings. My dad and I were early birds in the house, we would brush our teeth together and head straight down to the kitchen for the cereal boxes and milk and he would also make his cup of tea in the navy blue or white Coastal Federal Union mug (the company he worked for). My dad always had his Rasin Bran cereal or Corn Flakes with sliced fresh bananas along with his cup of tea. He would also get a small glass for water to take with the four to five different sized medicines. By this time we would finish our cereal and my brother would be up too along with my mom and me, my dad and brother would be watching all the best cartoons on TV. Tom & Jerry and Scooby Doo always had our Saturday mornings laughing on the floor.
Strangely enough, this image of a typical Saturday or even Sunday morning is just one of the handful memories I hold. I don’t really remember much from a typical weekend with the family aside from Family friend parties and gatherings, trips to Myrtle Beach to visit my aunt, uncle and cousins.
The one thing that I wish I could remember are conversations with him. Smiling, laughing and playing around and having fun is the only thing I can clearly remember but no conversation can come through my mind ever. Some children who lose their parents are able to take on life by going by something their parents always said to them… instead in my situation, my dad never showed pain or sadness and nor did he ever bring any tears to our eyes. This only taught me to keep positive but it also taught me that you shouldn’t hide pain or sadness if there is any at all, once in a while it’s good to share it even if it’s with an 8 year old…
“Love and death are the two things in life we are unable to control…”
- Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna (2006 Hindi film)